Many couples decide to write their own wedding vows to share as part of their ceremony – truly a special way to add a personal touch.
Here are 7 things to consider before you begin.
- Are you going to write your wedding vows together as part of your planning process? Or, surprise each other on your big day? The answer to this affects the entire creation process, so give it some thought, and take time to discuss it carefully.
Caution: If you decide to surprise one another, be sure to alert your officiant so they don’t put together a complete version of the script and send that to both of you.
- What tone for these marriage vows will best reflect you two and your relationship? Some couples are romantic and serious, most comfortable with formal language – so their vows can reflect that. Other couples find a humorous tone is more accurate for them, and they can feel free to adapt their marriage vows with some lightness and fun. Just try to keep your writing a reflection of who you are and how you are with each other.
- Discuss. This is a chance to have a nice long talk about what you want to include in your vows, what you both consider reflects you best. You don’t have to cover the details of your writing, just try to agree on the tone, and a rough idea of length.
- On that note, you can agree on 5–10 lines, a half page, or something short and sweet. The thing to avoid is for one of you to have a full page, the other to have six lines. So again, no need to show each other your creation, just agree on the approximate length ahead of time.
- Have some fun with this process. Try writing down the first few words that show up in your imagination when you think of your partner, your feelings for each other, all of that. Free associating can result in words that truly represent you together.
- Speak from your heart. Your guests will recognize words and phrases that you use about each other, so try to keep your vows personal and true. Try to say what you really feel – beyond this, nothing is more important.
- Think and speak about your future together. Today, you are saying “I do” — what will you be saying next year? And what will keep your commitment strong and deep? Again, the tone for your vows can be formal and serious, or you can promise never to interrupt another Chicago Cubs game with a request to go for milk and bread. Completely up to you, of course.