First. Decide together whether you will share your wedding vows as you write them as part of your preparation, or surprise your partner in the ceremony. Let your officiant know your choice so s/he doesn’t make the mistake of sending out a version of your script that contains your vows, if you want to surprise one another.
Focus. Set some time aside in a quiet setting, and remember that if you’re feeling overwhelmed — this is all a labor of love (literally!). It can feel overwhelming to find just the right words and thoughts. Read as many love letters as you can. And if you get frustrated, take a break. Keep focused and don’t cut corners – this matters.
Short and sweet. You and your new husband or wife will have plenty of alone time – today and in the years to come – to swap long love letters, notes and in-person “I love yous.” For the ceremony, keep things on the brief side – aim for 50 to 200 words.
Add humor, but don’t overdo it. Most romantic relationships include a healthy dose of humor, and it’s fine – even fun – to let that show in your vows. But remember: This isn’t a standup routine. Make sure your vows reflect just how serious your love for one another is.
Include some inside stuff. Some of the sweetest mentions in wedding vows are about the sweet, silly, and, likely, even sad times together. Include a couple of references to private moments that you two have treasured together.
Search for examples online. If you need help, look up some vows online or watch videos of ceremonies for inspiration. The Internet is full of wedding websites, plus chat rooms, forums, and other online communities that couples go to during their planning process. If you’re feeling stuck, look online to see what other brides and grooms said to each other on their wedding day.
Finally, if at all possible, have fun, and become more deeply aware of what you two mean to each other. Lovely!